Did you think that I failed to mention my fabulous trip to Tahiti and I was off sipping some fruity drink on the beach instead of keeping all (3) of you people up to date on the insipid details of my life? Or maybe you thought that I was actually doing something productive with my time like working... Well, you'd be wrong on both counts.I've been recovering from my hangover from the annual ER department Christmas party. Oh yes, it was a doozey from what I can remember. You know, I'm thirty freaking two years old and as I mentioned in my "tagged" posting the other day I have been consuming alcohol in one form or another roughly since 7th grade. No, I'm not proud of that but what else are you supposed to do when you grow up in a town with less than 3,000 people in it?
Anyway, with my long history of boozing it up you'd think I would have learned a few things about myself over the course of my life. You know, the really important life lessons such as NEVER DRINK ON AN EMPTY STOMACH (because the last time you did this you left your partially digested dinner and gastric juices on the River Walk in San Antonio) and IF YOU DO DRINK ON AN EMPTY STOMACH, DON'T TAKE PATRON SHOTS.. Another lesson that you'd think I would have learned is IF YOU DO DRINK AND TAKE SHOTS ON AN EMPTY STOMACH, DON'T TAKE MULTIPLE SHOTS AND DRINK AND UNKNOWN AMOUNT OF MARGARITAS.
All I've got to say is that I defined the term shitfaced, people and that's a fact. I'm pretty sure I had a good time, but unfortunately I really don't remember. One thing I'm fairly certain about is that I probably said something inappropriate. That's not really that unusual now that I think about it... Moving on. All I know is that I had an awesome designated driver that was prepared as hell with Ziploc bags in her car. Who is THAT prepared other than Renee? Love her! Well, all I can attest to is that Ziploc bags don't leak and they have a pretty damn good seal. I think I'm going to email them and let them know that there really are multiple uses for their product. Maybe they can use me in their new advertisement campaign.
One more thing I'm thankful for.. Brent was out of town and didn't witness the drunken debauchery that took place upon my arrival back to the crib. It wasn't even one of those drunken episodes where you accidentally get lucky. It was the kind where you sleep in the other room because you don't want to get puked on. Or the kind where you don't sleep at all because you want to make sure your wife doesn't stop breathing at some point during the night..
Oh fun times... I can't wait until next December.
P.S I'm never drinking Patron again.
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13 comments:
haha...sounds like you had fun. You didn't take your clothes off did you? Good Girl :)
I like Patron, I say stay away from tequila.
Average- Nope. The clothes stayed on. I'm not THAT drunk girl. ;)
Eewww....Mailing them the ziploc bags!
I did the same thing last year at a Christmas party! Serious partying, don't remember much other than I had an AWESOME time! Not so much the next day!
Kelly- Yes, the next day sucked considering I had to get up at 0600 with the kids for school. I felt like I was recovering from the flu for a couple of days afterwards. Now I'm just in my lazy piece o' shit phase. Who knows how long it will last.
Poor thing. Whatever you do, don't think about WAFFLES with LOTS of SYRUP. Or ICE CREAM HOT FUDGE SUNDAES.
Ah, I miss those days of drunken amnesia. Such fun and so foolish!!
I gave up drinking when I turned in my ruby red slippers for sensible shoes, which was about the time my AARP card arrived in the mail. So sad.
Feel better, my dear.
LMAO
Nice to have you back...And I think puking is overrated as a negative consequence.
I didn't start drinking until the week after my 29th birthday which was in 2005. Maybe next time, your co-workers could dare you to do something really wild when you are drunk.
HOS- The ice cream actually sounds pretty good. I'd have to be dead for the notion of ice cream to turn my stomach. NEVER.
Sophia- You're never too old to toss a few back. You've got to really reevaluate your stance on that. ;)
Jay- Would you have preferred that I shit myself?
Chris- Note to self.. Never party with you unless I want to get into trouble.. ;)
Candice, that would be me. LOL. I invite you to attend my birthday party in May. I'm thinking about having drinks and food galore, yard games and mud wrestling!
Now if only I could find a really big house to hold all the people I'm thinking of inviting or just inquire about renting out Neyland Stadium. UT-Knoxville is the #1 party school in the land.
Chris- Change the mud to oil and I'm there.
so funny..i just posted about my company party last night followed by a neighbor holiday party...needless to say, i wish i could say i'll never touch raspberry vodka again...
Candice, you are on. Would you prefer baby oil, vegetable oil, etc...? I'm flexible. I will also leave your choice of attire (if any) up to you.
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