A friend of mine sent this clip via email and I had to laugh. It almost reminded me of my very own spider spastic dance in the Walmart parking lot just the other day. Except I was a little, shall I say, less flamboyant??? I also had a bit more energy in my movements (think seizure here, folks) in an effort to rid myself of the spider that I thought for sure was in progress of injecting me with his lethal venom.
I went and ran some errands today and actually did a spider inspection before I sat my ass down in the drivers seat. How pathetic is that? I mean, you know what they say. Where there is one, there must be others. I mean, that is what "they" say right, or did I just make that shit up? Why in the hell would a spider choose to hang out in my car anyway? It's not like there is insect goodness aplenty in my vehicle. At least I hope not. Anyway, while I was at Target I briefly considered buying some Raid and just spraying the whole damn can in my car. Surely that would kill any stragglers that may be taking up residence in my ride. It's imperative that I fix this issue because I can just hear the news story now...
"Woman tragically dies in car accident and takes 50 other poor bastards out on Dallas North Tollway today. Witnesses say that woman was seen with her arms flailing about in the air and her eyes as big as saucers as though she was terrified, prior to crossing over 5 lanes of traffic and hitting the concrete barricade. The woman had to be extricated from her (sardine can) vehicle. The only thing found was an enormous amount of shit in her pants. More at four."
What? No, I’m Totally Not Killing Them
1 day ago