Here's a pretty good indication that you feel like shit

Okay, so remember that time I had my wisdom teeth yanked out my head, and my friendly neighborhood oral surgeon prescribed me pain medicine and antibiotics, right along with some Phenergan that she expected me to evidently shove UP MY ASS? If you managed to miss that post, please reference this event here, and then come right back immediately.

You know, I guess I'm still a little bitter about all of this, because when I think of this situation I have a gut reaction that automatically leads to increased blood pressure and severe anger. I suppose I was never able to understand her train of thought.

"Okay, I'll give her some Lortab PILLS, Clindamycin PILLS, and some Phenergan that she can lovingly shove up her poop shute. Yeah, she'll dig that."

So as you may have guessed, I never actually used the Phenergan. However, I was hesitant to throw them out. I mean, you never really know when you will end up having nausea to the point you're desperate enough to slip something up your own ass. And since I have been debilitated by crippling nausea before (due to too much drinking, and another time when I took the kids down the lazy river at the pool. Shut it. I get motion sickness quite easily!) I decided to save my butt medicine for a rainy day.

So a little back story. For the better part of a week I've been sick. Not the kind of sick where you can't get out of bed, but a functioning even though you still feel like shit sick. It all started with a dry and tight cough. Then it has progressed to me coughing up my fucking alveoli on a regular basis. Seriously, I think I have black lung or the whooping cough. I may even have Emphysema because I sound as though I've just finished smoking my 900th carton of unfiltered Lucky Strikes. Yesterday everything in my face began to hurt. My cheeks (I said FACE), my forehead, even my teeth hurt. There is so much pressure behind my eyeballs that I feel like they are going pop out of my head and I'll be left with 2 gaping holes in my face leaking putrid mucous. Now how's that for sexy?

I think Brent has spent over 30 bucks at the store purchasing random medicine that may as well be placebo, because that shit just ain't cuttin' it. So on my way home from the concert last night I began to go downhill. I don't know if it was the booze, my bubonic plague, or what, but I began to feel nauseous. Luckily for me, this feeling has continued on for most of the day today.

Then all of the sudden a light bulb went off in off in my head, and then I began to have this weird internal dialogue with myself.

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Me- You know Candice, you shouldn't sit here and suffer like this. It's just not necessary.

The other me- Fuck off and leave me alone. I'm about to puke!

Me- You know what you need to do. You've still got that ass Phenergan. Remember? It's a shame to let good drugs go to waste.

The other me- Oh yeah....

Me- Well, are you going to take it?

The other me- I really feel like shit, so I probably should shouldn't I? Then again, that would require me sticking something up my ass though, and well, I just don't know.

Me- Brent would be more than willing to help you out in that area.

The other me- Stick it up your ass!

Me- What do you think I'm trying to do?

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Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that you know life sucks when you're seriously contemplating shoving medicine up your own ass.

I'll be sure and update you all on my decision as soon as I figure that out.

Please tone down your excitement.

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