Remember when Rascal Flatts popped my Country concert cherry not too long ago? Well, I do, and I wasn't impressed by their performance. I was left at the end of it saying "That's it? That's all you've got Rascal Flatts? What the fuck??" However, all was not lost. I was schooled on the proper country attire, attitude, and lingo. I was definitely going to be ready to go for hick concert number 2.
So last night I got to see my future baby daddy, Keith Urban. Sweet baby Jesus, that man is just, Oooo WEEEE! Ahem, I'm fine really. He's just very fucking talented and I can appreciate that in a man.
Anyway, upon getting to the venue I was shocked to see that this attire was still so very popular among the ladies.
I still do not own a pair of these lovely things, so I wore some heels that came about as close as I could get to those shit kickers. I think I deserve an A for effort, right?
So after purchasing some alcoholic beverages and a bag of 20 dollar peanuts (It was an odd craving. Shut up. They came in handy later.) we made our way to our seats. Then the opening act came out. I still have no idea who this dude is.
*crickets*
*crickets*
*yawn*
Finally they got off of the stage so that the real talent could entertain us all.
I must say that I really enjoyed this concert. Here are the following reasons why.
1. He's hot.
2. He has a great voice.
3. He's got great stage presence and he's very energetic. (He went to the very back of the audience to perform on a little mini stage for the people with really shitty seats. He did that on either side of the stage as well. All I know, is if I was standing near that mini stage, I would have had to cop a feel on that ass. I probably would have roamed "down under" a bit as well. It would have totally been okay to do that, too. Brent and I have this little thing where we agreed that it was okay if we were ever in a situation like that with a celebrity. I mean, I haven't yet actually spoken with him about this, but I'm sure he would be totally fine with it. No worries.)
4. He's hot.
5. He's got a sexy accent.
6. He plays the guitar extremely well.
7. He's probably hung
8. He's hot.
9. He writes his own music.
10. Doesn't really matter if he's hung or not, now that I think about it. He rocked it regardless!
I was enjoying the hell out of the show until some asshat decided to stand the whole time and block my view of the big screen. You see, our seats kind of sucked, so I was relying on the screen to see my goddamn BABY DADDY! See what I mean?
Not to change the subject or anything, but if they weren't before, everyone around my house is respecting my AUTHORITAH now. That's right bitches. My new sunglasses are finally in my possession.

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27 comments:
Hot shades.
Nice nuts.
Country blows.
Missed you. ;-)
J
Good job with the tossing of the nuts. You should have purchased an 8 dollar hotdog as well. Nothing quite says, “Sit the fuck down” like a slap to the head with a meat stick and a couple nuts!
I love you. Oh, I mean I love your sunglasses! They actually look a little like the D & G ones that I want. I still have some convincing to do, since I lose or break a pair a month.
We must be polar-opposites, lol. I love Rascal Flatts and Jason Aldean. Keith Urban not so much.
I would have done the same thing with the peanut. Im glad he sat down.
Yeah, I can see all the respect for your AUTHORITAH you get from those great seats you wrangled (I'm not a sh*t-kicker; did I use "wrangled" right?)
Smaller venues = better shows
Try it, you'll have a lot more fun. There's no bad seats when there are no seats.
nice kicks, and shades...
(shaking head)
can not believe you were throwing away perfectly good snaks...
Keith Urban is what now? HOT. You got it, sista. I would do him in a car, on a bar, on a train, in a plane. Any or all.
You lucky girl, you. And glad Jason and I aren't the only one with the 'right to do a celebrity' agreement.
I don't usually do this, but where did you get those shades??? I'm currently looking for a new pair myself, and they are looking like just about perfect!
Having just been to a concert, you might enjoy this juvenile bit of humor...
http://www.cracked.com/article_17523_7-obnoxious-assholes-who-show-up-at-every-concert.html
I've gotten an error message twice now trying to post a comment. Message says to give you this code: bX-fhbw2x
We all know you just wanted to show off your ring with that peanut picture. You just needed an excuse.
Nice shades. I'm waiting to get my pair.
Halftime Lessons-
Respect them.
I know. ;)
The majority of it, yes.
I missed you too.
Scott- See, if I was a dude, I could have just popped him across the head with my meat stick and I wouldn't have had to pay a dime for it.
Denise- I don't NOT like Rascal Flatts music. Some of it is okay, but it was just their live performance that sucked. It was almost like they all needed to pop a little Viagra to get the blood flowin' or something. They also needed paper bags over their faces.
Jack Shit- First of all, I had that exact same line in my post before I edited it out. Secondly, I purchased those shitty seats on my own due to my inability to make a timely decision on whether or not I really wanted to go to a hick concert. Obviously, I decided a little too late. However, I got smart and found a way to buy tickets before they go on sale to the general public. So next week when I'm rocking out to ZZ Top and Aerosmith (assuming they don't die before then), my seats should be MUCH better. RESPECT IT!
Freak Smack- Yes, but that means I will have to stand the whole time. :)
Carlos- What, you didn't like my nuts?
Nooter- They went to a good cause.
Sayvandalay- I got them at a place called Eye Pieces here in Dallas. http://www.eyepieces.net/ Fair warning. Their website blows.
Cagey- What are you REALLY trying to tell me? :)
Derek- Not true. You're supposed to focus on the fucking peanut that I spent 30 minutes drawing a face on in Paint. Not only that, but the ring sucks and it was purchased out of a bubble gum machine in front of Wal-Mart.
Shades are hot. Baby Daddy is hotter :P
Wep- Amen!
Foxy- Nice.
I'd do him on a trolly, in a porta potty, Mmm, yeah I can't think of anything else that rhymes with that, but you get the picture.
Cagey- Hey, your comment finally worked. Great article by the way!
Since you'd just been to a concert and clearly have a sense of humor, I was trying to post a link to a humorous article titled "7 Obnoxious Assholes Who Show Up At Every Concert". It's on a site called Cracked dot com. Perhaps you could search for it if you're interested, because I'm guessing this blogger software doesn't like links posted for some reason.
Aren't you like 5"9 or something? Keith is a short motherfucker. He would probably only measure up to your hooters. On second thought...that might be just perfect.
Tallulah- No. A perfect height for him would be around 3ft if we're going to get technical about this shit.
By the way, I used to be totally anti-short men back in my dating days. I'm a little more open minded about that now. Short guys need love too, right?
as i was reading this, i thought to myself "candice really should have wacked that guy in the head with something to get him out of the way"
All you know about this guys is that he plays guitar and sings country music and that makes you think he's hung? I am definitely getting a guitar. And a drinking problem.
Jaime- I'm glad I'm not the only one that had that idea. I was going to blame my actions from being hopped up on Sudafed. Now I don't have to.
Douglas- Hey I just said he was hung. That's all. He could be hung like a mule OR a light switch. 50/50 gamble, ya know?
Rascal Flatts do suck in concert... I'm not a big Keith fan either, but he is hot I guess.
The ring rocks, I want a bigger picture with less glare, screw the peanut.
Ew baby, ew baby ew. Love them shades!!
Kevin and I have an open agreement about doing famous folks, too. It's only natural. Also, btw, I love Jason Aldean, but he'd be way to hick for someone who doesn't enjoy country, so I'm not surprised you didn't like him. Cool that you're giving country a try, though. Also, Rascal Flatts only sounds good when they've had gazillions of dollars spent on studio time and mixing boards.
I don't think I can be your friend anymore if you don't know who jason aldean is. Just sayin'
Chelsi- Keith is cute YOU GUESS? No ring picture for you!;)
Ken- Grassy ass.
Rachel- I totally agree with you. Britney Spears and most rap artists also fall under that category.
Sassy Pants- Please reconsider!
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