Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life. Electric word, life, it means forever and that's a mighty long time. But I'm here to tell you, there's something else - the afterworld. A world of never-ending happiness. You can always see the sun, day or night. So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills, you know the one, Dr. Everything'll-Be-All-right, instead of asking him how much of your time is left, ask him how much of your mind, baby. 'Cause in this life, things are much harder than in the afterworld. This life? you're on your own.
Damn I LOVE me some Prince!
Anyway, it's time to gather in remembrance of some of our dearly departed. Yes my Brothers and Sisters, it's been a tough road for things with gills around this bitch. Remember when we took bets on how long the little guys would survive when I first got them for the kids?
Turns out, about a little less than 3 months.
Baby Darryl and his other brother baby Darryl led the great fish death march around these parts as of late. Darryl went first, of course. Then I decided that it was time to move the other brother Darryl to the big fish tank in the hopes that he could have a chance at survival. I figured he was finally big enough fish to hold his own with the other fish.
As it turns out, not so much. Darryl was promptly eaten for a bedtime snack.
Whoops!Next up to croak was Aidan's fish, Mr. Mysterious. Or Perry, as Aidan called him. I thought Perry was a douchebag-y name for a fish, so I went with Mr. Mysterious. Turns out he was just as mysterious in death, as he was in life. I could tell that MM hadn't been feeling well the past couple of weeks, and one night last week when I tapped the tank to see if he was still alive, he took one last gulp, and then took a nose dive right in front of me and Aidan.
Aidan decided not to flush him or say any parting words to his beloved fish, because he was, and I quote "Too depressed to do it."
sniff sniff
Unfortunately there wasn't much time to mourn Mr. Mysterous, because Taylor's fish, Sunny was the next one to go belly up just 2 days ago.
Taylor did the honors of flushing Sunny, and she even said some very sweet parting words for her dear friend. "Peace out!"She's such a sentimental girl.
So now once again, the black fish stands alone. There's something about the tenacity of the black fish that remains constant around here. "Shadow" is now the new Tupac.
I give him another month or two tops.
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18 comments:
Is the one that lives on a Devilfish? Cheers and Peace Out Candice!!
Let's admit it. You've thrown a few back in celebration. Or maybe I'm just projecting.
looks like maybe a serial killers loose. put on your csi hat and get busy
Thanks Candice, you’ve reminded me that I have to do a eulogy post on the passing of the neighbor’s ostrich. That’s right I said ostrich.
There is something very strange about your whole fishy situation. It’s like a little mini, scaly version of Lost. I wonder if the Black fish is really Jacob? Anyway I hope your kids are both coming out of their depression. Maybe it would help if you bought them a little spider monkey? Let me know, and I’ll hook a sista up.
I knew Tupac wasn't really dead.
Whatever you do, don't name the next one Biggie Smalls!!
pour some out for the finned ones
First off, I am calling bullshit that you thought that the other brother Daryll was big enough to survive. You did that shit purposfully.
2nd- Love the new picture. As usual if I ever go lesbo, I am looking you up!
RIP little fishes. Where do I send the flowers?
Matt- I have no idea what kind of fish he is. I just know he's a dead fish swimming.
PEFL- Ha! Maybe just a couple.
Nooter- It wasn't me! Promise.
Scott- I'll pass on the monkey. Oh, and who the hell keeps and ostrich as a pet? Those things kind of freak me out.
Brandy- He's still kickin it one time with Biggie Smalls.
Foxy- What about Big Papa?
Carlos- Will do.
Danielle- Taylor told me not to do it because she didn't think the baby was big enough. Turns out she was correct.
Oh, and thanks. If I ever switch teams I'll let you know. ;)
Leeuna- In lieu of flowers we will be accepting heft donations to our bank account only.
Is it bad for me to admit that I wish our mouse and hamster would meet the same fate?
Kyslp- Oh no, in fact it's quite normal.
Taylor has been begging us for a hamster for the longest time. There is no way in hell she's getting one.
I know what would happen. It would get lose, and I would have to pack my shit and go and live in a hotel until someone found it. Most likely dead and rotting underneath the fridge or some place equally cool if I were guessing.
Are you wanting flowers and condolences to go to your or a charity of your choosing? ;)
btw love the new header! You're gorgeous!
Hmmmmmmmm... this appears to be a case for Sh*tlock Holmes...
I know fish aren't much more than mobile plants. Hell, they make chickens look intelligent. But, even a fish has got to get bored of endlessly swimming in circles. In this case, they're getting bored to death.
First one loses the will to fight and goes tits-up, and immediately afterwards the other says to itself "Self, the most interesting thing in the world is starting to smell like shit! I'm just going to stop fighting this whole drowning thing. See you on the flip side at Spongebob's place!"
And that's all she wrote.
Candice, my new favorite fouth mouth beeyotch! You had me singing along with the Price, laughing at the Daryls (I LOVED that stupid show) and bowing my head solomly for our dearly departed. If you weren't so freaking beautiful, I'd say lets be friends. But lets face it, I can't have you around because you'd give me a run for my money.
But perhaps there's strength in numbers? ;)
clearly your home is a death lodge for all fish who enter! remind me not to swim too close to your house!
signed,
the back up fish for JAWS the movie
ok, that was lame but geezus i'm doing my best
We had it happen with big aquariums too.
Secretia
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