Well, it's that time again. Thanks to all of your votes (thank you thank you thank you!), I've made it to round 4 in knucklehead's blogger idol. This week the category is observational humor. We are supposed to rant on something that annoys us, which interestingly enough, should be quite easy for me.
Now I'm not sure if it's always been this way and I've just never noticed, or perhaps the stars have all been properly aligned to where I've been lucky enough to to experience this firsthand numerous times this week alone. Regardless of the reason, I'm beginning to wonder if people have become incapable of simply doing their jobs to the best of their ability anymore. From my observations, it seems as though everyone is just doing the minimal it takes to get by. If that.
Unfortunately for me, this means leaving Subway with no turkey on my turkey sandwich, but instead having 2 slices of cheese in its place that I never even asked for. I hate cheese! It also means going to the grocery store and coming home to a carton of smashed eggs because the jackass grocery bagger (that is the correct term, right?) failed to realize the importance of NOT packing eggs with heavy items, such as a gallon of milk, just as an example. With that kind of brilliance, do I even need to mention the state of my Nature's Own multi-grain bread? Didn't think so.
I could drone on and on about the insipid details of my daily run-ins with the people around here who can't even manage to carry out the simplest of tasks in regard to their jobs, but I will spare you.
Wait a second, PSYCH! (all you little shits won't remember PSYCH , and that's okay. I love you anyway.) I've left out the REALLY important event that pissed me off most this week. I almost stroked out because of it, so I've pretty much got to share it, right?
I had my hair highlighted this week. Or something like that anyway. Now I know I've had posts where I've bitched about my hair before. To refresh your memory, there was the one chick that cut my bangs so short I looked like Jim Carey on Dumb and Dumber. Then there were the numerous rants about my inability to find a hairstylist in my area who could highlight my hair worth a damn. To give you an idea, I've been to over 10 different people in the 2 plus years that we've been in Dallas. That, my friends? Pathetic.
So I finally decided on a salon that's close to my house, and I've been going there for probably 6 months or so. I've been to 3 different people at that salon alone. For some reason these people will do a fabulous job the first time they highlight my hair, but they can't seem to keep up the stamina for the second visit. At first, I felt guilty for switching to a different person within the same salon since that's a little like cheating. Then I figured they can effectively all go screw themselves. It's MY money that I'm spending on my hair. If they have their feelings hurt because they suck, then that's their issue, not mine.
I don't think I have high expectations when it comes to my locks. All I'm looking for in a hairstylist is some god damned consistency! So when I went for my highlight, and came home with a half an inch of roots along the hairline right in the front of my fucking head, I was slightly pissed off. Of course I didn't see the mistake when I was at the salon because of the way my hair was parted at the time, but when I got home and pulled my hair back in a clip, there I was in all of my white trash glory. THAT? Was after pissing away almost $200 bucks.
Do you want to know what really annoyed me off the most? The SOB that did my hair HAD to have noticed that huge mistake when he blew me out. (down boys) He simply chose to ignore it because he's too much of a pansy ass to do the right thing and fix things right then and there. Instead, I had to come home and find out the hard way. BRENT actually noticed it was all jacked up all on his own, so if that doesn't tell you severity of the screw up, I don't know what will.
So anyway, I started thinking about ways I could slack at my own job, since it seems that it's the norm these days to do the least you can just to get by. Perhaps I should start by sticking Foley catheters up people's assholes instead of their urethra's roughly 42% of the time. I doubt they would notice or anything. Or maybe I could give patients an IM injection of water instead of the ordered medication, using a 18g needle rather than using a more appropriate size? Or perhaps when I get a completely stupid patient call asking whether or not they should bring their child in who is having difficulty breathing, I'll just respond with "Nah. Wait til they turn blue first, you idiot."
So now I'm left with contemplating the work ethic of Americans in general, as well as possibly making another move to a different salon because I'm tired of throwing away good money for substandard work. I'm in DALLAS for Christ sake! Why is this so difficult? What I really want to do is move back to Virginia where once all was right in my hair world. I had the same stylist for over 6 years. *sigh* Casey, oh how I miss you!
Have your own rant? I definitely want to hear it.
But first, head on over to Knucklehead's blog, read all of the entries, and then vote for ME, because you know if you don't I will wish hemorrhoids, herpes, and an ass boil upon you. ;)
We are down to the final four here, so it's important that you vote! Don't be complacent like my husband and tell me that you didn't bother voting for me last round because I clearly already had enough votes. That shit will piss me off, I'll likely go on a rant, and then you'll accuse me of going all Rush Limbaugh on your ass. It'll just be ugly folks, and we really don't want ugliness.
Remember, every vote counts! *ahem* Brent!