Giving thanks.

This post is long overdue, so I’m going to go ahead an apologize in advance.

I’m sorry.

There are no excuses in my arsenal. Actually, there are plenty.

There will be no stories explaining why I suck at sometimes doing things in a timely fashion. Especially when I’ve been busy eating, sleeping, and spending all of my free time redecorating Taylor’s room like a OCD crack whore who needs her next fix LIKE RIGHT NOW!

Seriously, Martha Stewart? You can’t fucking hang with this. No really, you’ve got NOTHING. However, this post isn’t about how I’ve totally managed to transform Taylor’s room into a fabulously chic, and sophisticated space, because really, don’t all 10 year old girls need some chic sophistication in their lives? Yes, yes they do.

And by the way, me + glue gun and bling bling jewels is a scary, scary combination. I must admit that I went a tad bit apeshit, but I really don’t see anything wrong with bedazzling Brent’s balls. I thought it had the potential to make them look more appealing.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, giving thanks.

So several months weeks ago I was contacted by the great Tallulah from Way Down In Mayberry. She’s a very funny lady, and I recommend you check her out. Apparently she was getting into the soap making business and she was opening up her own Etsy shop, and she wanted to send me some of her home made soap for me to try out.

Honestly, my first thought? “Oh shit”.

You see, when I think of people making their own soap, I think of very old women perusing the aisles of Hobby Lobby, putting random things in their carts to make soap that smells like a cross between sweaty ass, Crisco, and mothballs.

So as you may have guessed, I was slightly reluctant to try this soap out. However, I was willing to give it a go anyway because that’s just how I roll. I’m a dare devil, and I was willing to try this soap out even though I had visions of it breaking me out and turning me into Quasimodo.

So a few days later my package arrived with 2 lovely packaged soap bars. One “Pomtini” bar for me, and one “Black tea” soap for Brent.

Have I ever mentioned that I just hate it when people prove me wrong?

First of all, this stuff is all natural and smells AWESOME! There is no ass, Crisco or mothballs here, folks. Just pure goodness. There is just enough fragrance that people will notice and ask what you’re wearing, but not so much that you’ll walk around smelling like a 2 bit whore who has been doused in Juicy Couture. Even Brent loves this stuff!! Now that’s saying something since the man has been loyal to Zest since his conception.

So anyway, THANK YOU Tallulah! I love your soap, and I fully intend on bugging you for the Blueberry Smoothie, Lemon Chamomile, and the Creme Brulee, to name a few some day real soon. :)

By the way Tallulah, if you have room for more product on your site, I’m totally willing to split the commission on my Pussy Brassiere's by Candice.

Mark my words. This is going to be HUGE!

The second person I need to give thanks to is the very sweet and thoughtful Linda from Fat Cat Crochet. It was evident to me that this woman loves to crochet, and she posts pictures of the wonderful things she creates, so one day I boldly asked her to knit me a scarf.

I figured why not, ya know? Little did I know that she would actually do it.

Now I realize that I live in Texas where the winter months can be absolutely brutal, note the sarcasm but we love to wear scarves around these parts. At least I do. Besides, I keep my house roughly the temperature of a meat locker year round, so I can wear this comfy beauty in the dead of summer as long as I remain indoors.

So once again, THANK YOU Linda. I’m sorry I didn’t send you a formal thank you card. I wanted to do something a little more personal, I just didn’t anticipate it taking this long.

And finally, because I’m in the thankful mood and all, I want to give my final thanks to all of you who come here to read my mindless drivel day after day. I’m not sure why you do it, but I do appreciate it and I look forward to all of your emails and your comments.

THANK YOU!!!