Fact: It’s been a few years since I’ve been able to assist my daughter with her math homework.

Once the degree of mathematical difficulty skyrocketed in about the second grade, all bets were off for me in that particular arena. Consequently, all of her math questions end up being pushed upon someone who isn’t a fucking math moron. So that leaves dear old Dad.

Don’t get me wrong, regular fucking morons are totally acceptable to help with math homework, but “fucking math morons” need not apply.

Anyway, here is what a typical conversation is like when Taylor has a math question for me.

*Taylor- “Mom, I”*

*Me- “Go ask your Dad.”*

I’ll gladly answer questions about breast buds, bleeding vagina’s, and how to most effectively deliver a volleyball serve, but math? No thanks.

Anyway, for some reason unbeknownst to me, I was drawn to Taylor and her math homework this one particular night. Sort of like a stripper to a pole, or like Kim Kardashian’s vagina to chocolate penises.

I was drawn in.

I now direct your attention to question number 9.

Could my profound interest in her math homework have something to do with her illustration of “thermometers” actually resembling something more phallic in nature?

Most likely.

I just hope Taylor’s teacher got as excited from her mighty boners as I did.

Oh, and FYI, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that my daughter will not be pursuing an art degree at any time in her future.

## 23 comments:

Math is certainly more interesting now than it was when I was in school!

Maybe a future in porn cartoons?

DUDE! I live like 2 minutes north of Harrison Twp MI!!!

It's a suburb of the 4th World Country formerly known as Detroit.

LOL! I DO wonder what the teacher will think! :)

I saw this on FB and COMPLETELY LOST IT!!! Hilarious.

Bloody brilliant - I want my kid to draw pictures of boners!!

Did you tell her what they looked like? Poor girl, how is she supposed to know.

Hey, that test was printed in Comic Sans! I always had trouble making circles attached to poles too.

LOL, I'm glad her innocence has her drawing boners so freely!

On that note, asked how his pet parrot died, the mathematician answered "Polynomial. Polygon."

On another note, I wanted you to know that I nominated you for a Versatile Blogger Award because your blogs are hilarious. You can find the rules on my latest post should you choose to accept this very prestigious award :)

Oh come on, math is as easy as 1,2,3...

Are you sure Aidan hasn't been helping her with her math?

You have such wonderful children.

The apple doesnt fall far from the tree, Mrs. JizzCake!! (Still one of my fave posts ever.)

Wasn't your fascination with boners what granted the spud suckling @ your teat?

bp

if math had been that interesting when i was in school, maybe i would have been better at it!

i see you're blogging almost as frequently as me these days. hope you're doing well.

I really like your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you design this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz answer back as I'm looking to design my own blog and would like to find out where u got this from. cheers

Hey! Someone in my Myspace group shared this site with us so I came to look it over. I'm definitely loving the information. I'm book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Terrific blog and superb design.

WHERE DID YOU TAKE OFF TO? Hope all is well.... have a wonderful Christmas

Wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas.

Linda

hi candiceandco.blogspot.com-ers merry xmas to every one - matt

As a recovering accountant, who knew math was sooo fucking funny. there's a lot of funny math shit....angle of the wangle equals the square of the hair, etc.

if you get stumped, i can be bribed into helping..

Ha! You said sack.

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