Fact: It’s been a few years since I’ve been able to assist my daughter with her math homework.
Once the degree of mathematical difficulty skyrocketed in about the second grade, all bets were off for me in that particular arena. Consequently, all of her math questions end up being pushed upon someone who isn’t a fucking math moron. So that leaves dear old Dad.
Don’t get me wrong, regular fucking morons are totally acceptable to help with math homework, but “fucking math morons” need not apply.
Anyway, here is what a typical conversation is like when Taylor has a math question for me.
Taylor- “Mom, I”
Me- “Go ask your Dad.”
I’ll gladly answer questions about breast buds, bleeding vagina’s, and how to most effectively deliver a volleyball serve, but math? No thanks.
Anyway, for some reason unbeknownst to me, I was drawn to Taylor and her math homework this one particular night. Sort of like a stripper to a pole, or like Kim Kardashian’s vagina to chocolate penises.
I was drawn in.
I now direct your attention to question number 9.
Could my profound interest in her math homework have something to do with her illustration of “thermometers” actually resembling something more phallic in nature?
I just hope Taylor’s teacher got as excited from her mighty boners as I did.
Oh, and FYI, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that my daughter will not be pursuing an art degree at any time in her future.