Comments on Life According To Candice: I crapped myself today for the first time since in...

Lol...feeling your pain. I take my life in my own ...

2009-10-31T17:07:39.667-05:00

Lol...feeling your pain. I take my life in my own hands when I ask hubman to kill a spider for me. Check this scenario:

Me: Honey, quick there's a spider on the ceiling! RIGHT ABOVE OUR BED!

Hubman: What? Oh, can't you get it?

Me: *slight hysterical note enters my voice* Have you MET ME?!?

Hubman: *heaves a very put-upon sigh* Oh, ok.
<

Get your son to catch Hairy Larry in a jar. Maybe ...

2009-10-27T07:36:54.399-05:00

Get your son to catch Hairy Larry in a jar. Maybe you can sell him on eBay or Craig's list. (Also, it's not great when spiders go missing. A zero-tolerance policy is better. Squash the bastard.)

GOOD LORD, that thing is HUGE! Or is it just reee...

2009-10-26T11:24:05.561-05:00

GOOD LORD, that thing is HUGE! Or is it just reeeeeeeeally zoomed in?

Don't fret. Spiders make me shriek like a teakettl...

2009-10-25T16:16:49.954-05:00

Don't fret. Spiders make me shriek like a teakettle, too. I love your blog...I hope you don't mind, but I mentioned it on mine.

Cheers,
Brian

Holy shit yo, that's one fucking humongous hairy t...

2009-10-25T15:03:50.661-05:00

Holy shit yo, that's one fucking humongous hairy thing with legs.

*Shivers

Looking at that pic made my weiner grow waaaaaay smaller just now. (or the past 33 years)

No, really, that shit needs to be shot, hacked into pieces and picked up with a shovel.. and then sent to the National Geographic or some shit...

I had a brown recluse in my bath tub last night. ...

2009-10-25T14:42:40.534-05:00

I had a brown recluse in my bath tub last night.

And the other day I had a giant wolf spider staring at me from the door way. I forgot how fast them things are.

Cagey- So what you're really saying is that I need...

2009-10-25T12:52:34.669-05:00

Cagey- So what you're really saying is that I need a traumatic brain injury in order to get over my spider fear?

Lovely ;)

Funny stuff, and I sympathize. I was terrified o...

2009-10-25T01:40:22.671-05:00

Funny stuff, and I sympathize.

I was terrified of spiders for most of my life. I mean, to the point where I studied up on the subject. The Art of War and all, y'know? Know thine enemy?

But, about 10 years ago I suffered a major head trauma. Damn near killed me. But, through the miracles of modern medicine and some strategically placed additional holes in my head

Karen- Well, I've been keeping a close eye out aro...

2009-10-24T23:10:47.226-05:00

Karen- Well, I've been keeping a close eye out around here, trust me. I just hope he never gains access to the indoors. I would need to be hospitalized for sure.

Kys- Well now there's nothing to kill since Larry has gone MIA. I wonder if he heard through the grapevine that I had a hit planned for his big ass?

Fat Daddy- Fuck the birds. That's what I say. As long

Not a big fan of spiders myself. Youwould have di...

2009-10-24T20:27:22.675-05:00

Not a big fan of spiders myself. Youwould have died if you had seen the big MF's I ran into on my hunting trip to Florida.

Snakes are pretty much on the same page with me as spiders. This past week I had to dodge snakes that were sunning myself on the path I run on.

Talk about stepping lively.

I hate bugs so much I spray shit on the house that is sure

That spider is effin gi-normous!! I would tell Bre...

2009-10-24T18:12:59.215-05:00

That spider is effin gi-normous!! I would tell Brent that it's Larry or you. Stay in a hotel untill he mans up and kills the mutated thing. That is the stuff that horror movies are about. (Shuddering)

I'm plagued with a bit of arachnophobia myself, ho...

2009-10-24T16:16:16.688-05:00

I'm plagued with a bit of arachnophobia myself, however, if one vanishes on me and is nowhere to be found?
I convince myself that he is everywhere that I am; in toilet, under pillow, in the oven.
I'm not content or relaxed until said Larry-sibling has been smooshed to a unrecognizable mush.

p.s. Damn you for hoarding your brilliant verbal curses from the rest of us.

Nancy- Boys do come in handy from time to time. Th...

2009-10-24T15:23:45.934-05:00

Nancy- Boys do come in handy from time to time. Then again, Taylor isn't really afraid of spiders, so she would have probably killed it if I needed her to.

Leeuna- I'm not sure it gets cold enough here to kill off monster spiders.

Bad spider. Bad! Hopefully with winter coming on h...

2009-10-24T13:41:54.527-05:00

Bad spider. Bad! Hopefully with winter coming on he will soon freeze to death and you'll be free of him. In the meantime close the blinds.

I wanted to have a boy so badly. Reason being, an ...

2009-10-24T12:56:24.765-05:00

I wanted to have a boy so badly. Reason being, an automatic spider and insect squasher.

Nooter- He knows better! He would live in fear if ...

2009-10-24T12:28:39.353-05:00

Nooter- He knows better! He would live in fear if he did some shit like that.

Beau- Thanks for acknowledging my progress. I think so too.

FYI- I looked for Larry this morning and he's gone. WTF did he go???? How in the hell am I supposed to kill him when he's not home?

I for one love slamming my nuts in a car door... ...

2009-10-24T12:14:50.273-05:00

I for one love slamming my nuts in a car door...

At least you're doing something about your fears...even if it IS screaming and jumping around.

Maybe you should invest in a blowtorch. Practice on the one's that are NOT against your house first.

wheres moe & curly? under the boxspring mattress? ...

2009-10-24T12:04:29.504-05:00

wheres moe & curly? under the boxspring mattress? inside a pleat in your shower curtain?

betcha look there every day for a week now, hee hee hee!

(private note to brent: get a fake spider, place it in the medicine cabinet, tie a thread to it and tape the other end of the thread to the inside of the cabinet door. get the video camera and ask her to get you some aspirin

Secretia- You and me both! Scott- I hope you don'...

2009-10-24T11:23:09.033-05:00

Secretia- You and me both!

Scott- I hope you don't take offense to the fact that there is no way in HELL I'm going to click that link. Sorry!! :)

Peg- hairspray would mean that I have to be close enough to him to douse him. If I buy that Hotshot spray from 50ft away shit I might be okay.

Tallulah- Oh. My. GAWD!

Matty- You are a good boy for

Bwahahaha Sorry but my garage alone would leave y...

2009-10-24T10:06:03.070-05:00

Bwahahaha Sorry but my garage alone would leave you catatonic. I almost want to go take pictures of the spiders around my house for you.(Inside and out) I live in FL with many trees around us and the spiders seem to LOVE our house. I could go walk around the house and if I looked in the right places see at least 3-4 spiders. I don't love them but as long as they stay hidden and keep other

Hopefully Larry is a boy and not going to have a g...

2009-10-24T09:37:35.345-05:00

Hopefully Larry is a boy and not going to have a gajillion babies. You may have to burn your house down to kill them all.

My roommate in med school, who was in the navy, on...

2009-10-24T09:03:46.799-05:00

My roommate in med school, who was in the navy, once woke me up to come kill a spider in the kitchen. He was terrified of them.

Ok, after reading this post, and the others you li...

2009-10-24T08:54:36.402-05:00

Ok, after reading this post, and the others you linked to ( yes, I actually read all of them.....I think the weatherman video was classic ), I get the impression you don't like spiders.

Sorry to hear you are a pants-crapper. We have a g...

2009-10-24T08:34:53.208-05:00

Sorry to hear you are a pants-crapper.
We have a giant house spider in our garage so huge that it looked furry (like a tarantula and about the same size). On further inspection, the furry was actually hundreds and hundreds of babies.

We love them and will name them all.

That is a big MFing spider!!!! I'd have to call s...

2009-10-24T07:33:36.445-05:00

That is a big MFing spider!!!! I'd have to call someone, too - or maybe spray him with some storebought poison stuff so you don't have to go near? Hell you surely have enough hair shit you could spray on him that's poison - no need to buy bug spray. DO it while the kids are at school. And it's raining - they've already seen him disappear on a rainy day...