Comments on Life According To Candice: You know you've reached your potential when you ge...

I think I heard something about him also getting c...

2009-10-27T10:57:57.975-05:00

I think I heard something about him also getting cited for driving his chair without the seat back being in an upright and locked position.

Hmmm, landed me in jail! You just gave me a blog i...

2009-10-27T09:23:59.744-05:00

Hmmm, landed me in jail!
You just gave me a blog idea. Thanks, I knew I loved you.

Inspired... too bad he blew it. I was made to endu...

2009-10-27T07:41:21.181-05:00

Inspired... too bad he blew it. I was made to endure the Soap Box Derby in Akron, OH for all of my youth. (Borrrr-ring) Electrified recliners sound a great deal better. The Chamber of Commerce should jump on this, if you ask me.

That beats the guy who crawled home because he was...

2009-10-27T04:41:40.867-05:00

That beats the guy who crawled home because he was too drunk to use his wheelchair for the 6 blocks.

Secretia

Oh, I defintiely should have gone to jail a few ti...

2009-10-27T04:36:33.623-05:00

Oh, I defintiely should have gone to jail a few times. But I am proud to say that I have never driven a recliner while under the influence. And if I ever do, the cops are very welcome to take my ass away and lock it away for the rest of my life.

I understand it's fairly common for people to get ...

2009-10-26T20:50:07.728-05:00

I understand it's fairly common for people to get nailed for DWI on their lawn tractors. Especially in small towns, where the local bar is farther than walking distance but closer than driving distance. Not that I would know anything about that...

Bet he was singing "Iiiiimmmm gonna rock and roll ...

2009-10-26T17:56:15.332-05:00

Bet he was singing "Iiiiimmmm gonna rock and roll all niiigghttt." What. A. Dufus. Wonder how many couches he has on his front porch.

Didn't George Jones get a dui when he was driving ...

2009-10-26T17:21:13.643-05:00

Didn't George Jones get a dui when he was driving a tractor? (Sometimes my brain just spits out random facts. It's shutting down now.)

Minnesota, huh? I totally thought this would be ab...

2009-10-26T16:47:45.985-05:00

Minnesota, huh? I totally thought this would be about a guy from Alabama. Minnesota has now gone done a few pegs in my "suck ass states" list.

Rolling on dubs. L to the O to the L y'all.

2009-10-26T15:40:40.308-05:00

Rolling on dubs. L to the O to the L y'all.

My brother-in-law and I blew up our backyard. It w...

2009-10-26T13:37:05.013-05:00

My brother-in-law and I blew up our backyard. It was enough of a nightmare to make one of the stories in my book. Truly, truly stupid.

Cheers...

We had so much fun laughing about that at work (I'...

2009-10-26T13:09:11.680-05:00

We had so much fun laughing about that at work (I'm a bartender) this weekend. The funny thing is, some of my customers were talking about the "how" behind making them... Some of them have motorized bar stools - for racing. Yes, it's a real hobby!!!

Having sex in public... with a female cop. It almo...

2009-10-26T12:52:21.516-05:00

Having sex in public... with a female cop. It almost landed HER in jail.

You already know what landed me in hot water (and ...

2009-10-26T12:35:11.915-05:00

You already know what landed me in hot water (and out of a concert) too much beer and not enough port-o-potties.

Believe it or not the very first post that I ever did was when a guy in Ohio got a DUI while driving a motorized bar stool. It was April 1st of this year, and I knew at that moment that I couldn’t keep my smart-assedness to only myself and my close friends any longer. You

spent a night in jail in cape town, south africa f...

2009-10-26T11:16:51.003-05:00

spent a night in jail in cape town, south africa for drunk and disorderly. that really sucked. i would have prefered to have been done for driving a lazyboy!

I have not landed in jail...at least not that I ca...

2009-10-26T11:02:27.417-05:00

I have not landed in jail...at least not that I can recall...Alzheimer's kicks in at all the right times...

People do that all the time here in Mayberry. The...

2009-10-26T09:55:54.173-05:00

People do that all the time here in Mayberry. They may not have a portable recliner, but they do have their fancy schmansy designer golf carts that they ride around in or their gazillion dollar ATV's. Even the teenagers get drunk and drive their motorized scooters around. It's sad really..

I heard about this guy. But really, with some of ...

2009-10-26T07:04:51.572-05:00

I heard about this guy. But really, with some of the unbelievable stunts people pull these days, does anything ever surprise you?

But it is "sobering" to know that maybe, just maybe, you would go along for the ride.