Comments on Life According To Candice: New idea, dating advice, and more

Clever girl. Great innuendo. Your public will eat ...

2009-10-16T19:57:19.694-05:00

Clever girl. Great innuendo. Your public will eat this up.

(SexMatch.com is available, btw)

Sounds like a wonderful idea. I need to get hitche...

2009-10-16T19:12:32.171-05:00

Sounds like a wonderful idea. I need to get hitched anyways.

Dear Candidly Candice, My MIL is a bitch. Would ...

2009-10-16T18:55:44.136-05:00

Dear Candidly Candice,

My MIL is a bitch. Would it be wrong to smack the bitch down at Christmas this year?

Dreamin of snatchin the fuckin weave off her head in a quick minute.

Anxiously awaiting your reply.

Pissed off DIL

he killed her fish? what the hell is wrong with m...

2009-10-15T21:43:27.133-05:00

he killed her fish? what the hell is wrong with men?!?! maybe we'd all be safer with a good vibe and a pack of batteries.

Sounds like fun all around. Especially if everybod...

2009-10-15T20:15:42.870-05:00

Sounds like fun all around. Especially if everybody's reasonable and does it your way.

My first thought for a name is a non-starter because it's been done already, and not particularly well: Strangers With Candy. So, my next thought is the name of band I was in about 100 years ago: Fresh Candy. It's not trademarked, copyrighted, patented, cursed, or anything

What are you talking about woman, there isn't enou...

2009-10-15T18:56:34.999-05:00

What are you talking about woman, there isn't enough money in the world to make me find that fish killer an acceptable partner. No matter what size his ding dong is.....
;-)
I think the advice idea is genius.
I may not ask you anything (never know) but I know I shall certainly enjoy reading your replies to all of those in need. :)

oh yes I would so ask you for advice... I think it...

2009-10-15T17:50:04.102-05:00

oh yes I would so ask you for advice... I think its because we are both tens not in need of an upgrade LOL

I love naming stuff. How about "I Ran Dis by Cand...

2009-10-15T16:21:23.005-05:00

I love naming stuff.

How about "I Ran Dis by Candice"

Okay, I'll shut up now...

OK...more catchy and blows less ass. Those are ce...

2009-10-15T15:53:31.809-05:00

OK...more catchy and blows less ass. Those are certainly high standards. I am thinking...

Even though you normally go for the more subtle approach I say we change things up...

How about, "Candice...Cox Consultant & Classifier?"

And you need to publish some sort of chart that factors in both size and income. It gives us guys some goals to shoot for.

How about "That's What She Said" and you have to a...

2009-10-15T14:55:14.077-05:00

How about "That's What She Said" and you have to answer every question with a dirty innuendo. I'd ask mundane questions just to see what you'd come up with.

And, I'm single, so any dating advice is welcomed. I've unfortunately figured out the skin flap guy on my own though. DOH!

Snugs- Okay, I totally agree with you, but just bu...

2009-10-15T11:33:34.980-05:00

Snugs- Okay, I totally agree with you, but just buying Magnum's doesn't buy them a ticket into the "hung" club. You and I both know there are men/boys out there that purchase those condoms just for show. It's laughable because they could wear that shit like a skull cap instead of the actual head it's intended for.

YOU MEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

ok, I did not have time to read your comments and ...

2009-10-15T10:54:42.507-05:00

ok, I did not have time to read your comments and have to hurry back to work, but you are a FUCKING GENIUS!!
A dating site for the HUNG ones gets my money! Cuz whoever said size doesn't matter has obviously never needed magnum XL condoms!
But being a single woman, I have to tell you go for 220v, batteries can go dead at the worst time:)

Grumpy MD- Good point. Everyone that shops at wal-...

2009-10-15T10:23:21.028-05:00

Grumpy MD- Good point. Everyone that shops at wal-mart needs to be sterilized. How about that? Well, everyone besides myself.

Linda- Do you still happen to have Mr. Anaconda's ...

2009-10-15T10:20:45.095-05:00

Linda- Do you still happen to have Mr. Anaconda's number? What?!? I have single friends who know exactly where to put it. That's all.

Nooter- You are such a smart dog!

Mike- That's true, but they will know after they have the manditory psych exam.

Shanni- That's a good idea, but I don't know if I want those bitches at the DMV judging my looks.

At some point, we need to ban them from reproducin...

2009-10-15T10:15:57.932-05:00

At some point, we need to ban them from reproducing, too.

So, yes.. I would ask for advice. Mostly, because ...

2009-10-15T09:50:54.692-05:00

So, yes.. I would ask for advice. Mostly, because your daughter is older than mine. And her track record, like shaving.. yeah, she is going to shave her leg off. I can think of a million questions.

Catchy Phrase: "Daily Dose of Candice" or if you are doing weekly "Weekly Dose of Candice" or you can even use "Candice Expertise"

I like them all.

First off.. LOVE the idea! I will submit questions...

2009-10-15T09:45:36.085-05:00

First off.. LOVE the idea! I will submit questions. And since I know that's all your really worried about go on with your bad self!

Secondly, I've had an idea similar to this and equally as genius.

At a given age (Lets go with 16, because you're growing out of your awkward stage and into your looks, and you go to the DMV anyway) you will be issued a card with a

How about "Life Defined by Candice" since we all k...

2009-10-15T09:09:33.874-05:00

How about "Life Defined by Candice" since we all know what kind of advice you're going to spread.

Yeah the problem is that most crazy people don't think they are crazy.

see, i told you there was a fish killer on the loo...

2009-10-15T08:59:22.773-05:00

see, i told you there was a fish killer on the loose. good work sleuthing that out. you could call your new post 'csi: candice' where you 'solve' peoples problems, or at least recommend an app. for each one.

Oh yea, I dated Mr Light Switch. He had great look...

2009-10-15T08:46:35.679-05:00

Oh yea, I dated Mr Light Switch. He had great looks and all the right moves. Got me all hot & bothered and then WTF? Where is IT??!! What a disappoinment. I also dated Mr Anaconda. I was like 'Whoa! You want to put that WHERE???'

For your advice column how about - What would Candice do? (say?)

Edie- Damn woman, you are good! Way more creative ...

2009-10-15T07:33:05.704-05:00

Edie- Damn woman, you are good! Way more creative than anything I could come up with... Obviously! Thanks for the input.

Candice Does Questions! Thought you would enjoy t...

2009-10-15T07:21:16.857-05:00

Candice Does Questions! Thought you would enjoy that one with the subtle reference to porn.
How bout' Candice's Query of the Day, or Dissin' with Candice, Probing with Candice (roflmao), Candice Gives a Helping Hand (ok I gotta quit this)!
Candice Gives Her Two Cents Worth, Counsel With Candice. Phew I'm done!

GB, RN- That's right, girl. Get your advertising o...

2009-10-15T06:47:26.872-05:00

GB, RN- That's right, girl. Get your advertising on!

Scott- Awesome! My first question. Guess what? I have an answer for that.

I do love all of your name suggestions, but my favorite is Query Me Candice. You don't think people will get the wrong idea, do you? ;) Fuck em. It's in the running.

Another Suburban Mom- Oh God, you could have an anaconda in

Skin flap! LMAO! Okay, I think I dated that dude...

2009-10-15T06:36:42.693-05:00

Skin flap! LMAO! Okay, I think I dated that dude back in the day, which wasn't that long ago. In fact, I think I dated all those dudes that will be in the crazy pool, so I could be a great consultant for your new service.

That's it...Consulting with Candice. Counseling by Candice.

Hmmmm....not so good? Well, I got banged by some skin flap last night and didn&

I will think about a good title. I like your dati...

2009-10-15T06:31:48.840-05:00

I will think about a good title. I like your dating advice.

I know that I will give the well hung man a pass on things that his teeny peeny brother would never get away with.

Except for smelling bad. Bad smelling people who won't shower are a big no.