Comments on Life According To Candice: You can just call me Helen. Helen Keller, that is....

Kyslp- Hmm, maybe I can parlay this into some kind...

2009-10-06T11:16:20.719-05:00

Kyslp- Hmm, maybe I can parlay this into some kind of business venture. ;)

knucklehead- Well, it works well for me. I think Brent is so not used to be being quiet,that really throws him off when I am.

In his mind, he's probably all like "Man, I miss her witty retorts to everything I say. I don't know if I can go on living in this life of solitude. I'm just

I've never understood why women think giving us "t...

2009-10-05T17:56:27.838-05:00

I've never understood why women think giving us "the silent treatment" is a weapon. We may PRETEND it bothers us so you think it works and therefore, keep using it. But puh-lease! No, honey, please, not the silent treatment. I LOVE when you go on and on about things!

Will you come here and whip my husband into shape ...

2009-10-05T14:05:57.273-05:00

Will you come here and whip my husband into shape for me?

Greta- Want me to work my magic on your husband? Y...

2009-10-05T14:04:57.757-05:00

Greta- Want me to work my magic on your husband? You'll be able to fit 2 cars in that garage by the end of the day!

Candace, you are a hoot. I am going to make sure ...

2009-10-05T13:53:50.810-05:00

Candace, you are a hoot. I am going to make sure to come visit daily. I am sitting here just cracking up!!! Thanks...that is making my sorry ass feel a bit better today. NOT better enough to go deal with my garage (which...not even ONE car will fit in)...but maybe better enough to go dead-head some rose bushes. That is a bit more up my alley today......chopping...

Brandy- Well, HK was both deaf and blind. That was...

2009-10-05T13:45:06.518-05:00

Brandy- Well, HK was both deaf and blind. That was Brent's way of insinuating that I just don't pay attention period. I can't argue with that, however.

Carlos- It's tragic really. Would you like to adopt a poor abused husband? For only $583 dollars a month, I'll allow you to do that.

poor brent...

2009-10-05T13:29:07.634-05:00

poor brent...

Um, Helen Keller was blind so even if you were HK ...

2009-10-05T13:01:56.755-05:00

Um, Helen Keller was blind so even if you were HK then you still would have heard him coughing like a seal.

Just sayin'.

Linda- Can it be two colors or just one? Pink and ...

2009-10-05T12:49:35.195-05:00

Linda- Can it be two colors or just one? Pink and grey could be nice if you're doing two colors. If not, make it hunter green.

You rock!

Nooter- And don't you forget it!

bully.

2009-10-05T11:33:00.771-05:00

bully.

How about a scarf instead? Ha! Name your color Gi...

2009-10-05T11:19:10.311-05:00

How about a scarf instead? Ha! Name your color Girl!

Scott- He doesn't watch football any day of the we...

2009-10-05T10:41:31.404-05:00

Scott- He doesn't watch football any day of the week, so Sunday is totally not a day of rest around here.

Matt-I'm so glad that I could reaffirm your confidence in the sanctity of marriage. You know, if I can reach just one person with my blog, then it has been well worth it. ;)

LMB- It will be out of my garage in another hour. Craigslist rocks! Unless you are

Don't you feel better now, Brent? Of course you d...

2009-10-05T09:36:46.932-05:00

Don't you feel better now, Brent? Of course you do... Candice feels better, so in turn, you feel better, right? RIGHT?

I love how you told Brent his coughing was pretty ...

2009-10-05T06:50:04.400-05:00

I love how you told Brent his coughing was pretty damn loud and annoying....

Also love the ad for the dog crate. I bet you'll have takers lined up in no time.

When I come here and read your amusing pieces two ...

2009-10-05T06:33:25.667-05:00

When I come here and read your amusing pieces two things typically happen...

1. I laugh.

2. The relief and good feelings I have about no longer being married are reaffirmed.

Cheers Candice!!

Yep, the silent but deadly treatment works like a ...

2009-10-05T04:28:10.483-05:00

Yep, the silent but deadly treatment works like a charm on me as well. I like arguing because it means we’re both assholes, but if my wife’s all passive aggressively quiet, it makes me feel like I’m the only asshole. Which I probably usually am.

I personally prefer to go into lawyer mode and argue my case point by painstaking point, until my wife either gives up, or goes into the

Danielle- I think I'll pass on your offer. One hus...

2009-10-04T22:29:26.221-05:00

Danielle- I think I'll pass on your offer. One husband is pretty much all I care to handle at this point. Unless he's extremely well endowed. Then I might reconsider. ;)

Peg- So in other words, he's a bad ass dog? ;) I wish you still lived in Coppell. I'd personally bring it to you, and we could indulge in a tasty libation or five.

LOL C! He's 8 months old and never been crated. ...

2009-10-04T21:53:48.404-05:00

LOL C! He's 8 months old and never been crated. He's at a training camp with a pro right now and needs a place to "kennel up" when he comes home. I have no idea if he'll use it or not but the little (big) shit was tearing up the garage last few times he had to go in there. We wouldn't deign to emasculate him with a costume though. Bad enough we took his balls.

Will you take trade for the crate? Cause I will g...

2009-10-04T21:50:37.612-05:00

Will you take trade for the crate? Cause I will give you my husband for it. He lives in the garage, so this may help you. That is the only place that he keeps clean. I may even pay you the $50 as incentive.

Linda- How about a scarf instead? I'm not a fan of...

2009-10-04T19:24:14.294-05:00

Linda- How about a scarf instead? I'm not a fan of wine, unless of course, it's Boone's Farm.

OMG! Girl you crack me up! If I send you wine wil...

2009-10-04T19:18:38.312-05:00

OMG! Girl you crack me up! If I send you wine will you write a CraigsList ad for me?

Fragrant Liar- Luckily I don't usually have to cra...

2009-10-04T19:09:28.410-05:00

Fragrant Liar- Luckily I don't usually have to crack it all that often. He can be a pain in my ass off and on when he wants to be though. Especially when he's on his (period)death bed from the whooping cough.

Peg- GASP!! You actually crate your dog? Bailey might have to get dressed up from time to time, but his lazy ass sleeps in the bed! ;) I think we used that thing once or

You are far more patient and tolerant than I. Men...

2009-10-04T19:06:19.738-05:00

You are far more patient and tolerant than I. Men in my life don't even get to stay long enough to have their own crate! ; )

Thanks once again for the laugh!

Hey I just replied to an ad for a large wire dog c...

2009-10-04T18:51:20.079-05:00

Hey I just replied to an ad for a large wire dog crate on Craigslist. I'm supposed to go see it tomorrow Want to send me yours instead?

HAHAHA. I am so impressed with your whip-cracking ...

2009-10-04T18:50:40.614-05:00

HAHAHA. I am so impressed with your whip-cracking skilz. I am happy you have a clean garage and that your hubs finally made it happen for you. :))