Life According To Candice

I'm really really hoping that no one clues the hub...

2009-11-09T08:23:50.293-06:00

I'm really really hoping that no one clues the hubs in on this poop stuff. He might just fire our cleaning lady because we gots lotsa fly poopies in our house. Oh, ya, I'm the cleaning lady and I sort like living with my family....

Congrats on your funny award over at Leighs place. Visiting from there today. Thanks for the laughs!!

hear hear! We had teenagers come to the door, not ...

2009-11-08T13:16:25.317-06:00

hear hear! We had teenagers come to the door, not dressed in anything but their usual, and just stand there. Saying nothing. No bag. I said they should be alittle ashamed of themselves..and what IS the deal with people ringing the bell after 10 pm at a darkened houses? I couldn't part with my blow pops. Would have handed out sticks of butter first. The parents hauling the cooler? Genius. And

Thanks alot for the additional anxiety You and I c...

2009-11-08T13:11:49.919-06:00

Thanks alot for the additional anxiety You and I clean house the same - anal about some stuff, not so much the other - and the same opinion on house cleaning services - I call it 'motel cleaning' - just enough to know the crud off and move things aside but never picking up and dusting, never moving the rugs back to clean...because for real, no one cares about cleaning your house like you

You and my wife need to hang. Case in point.

2009-11-08T07:32:39.927-06:00

You and my wife need to hang.

Case in point.

Everybody poops. That's the name of a childrens bo...

2009-11-07T17:52:38.884-06:00

Everybody poops. That's the name of a childrens book, quite entertaining. Friends of ours live by a farm, whiffing distance. The whole back of their house was spotted with little black spots. They have to power wash the house several times a summer.

Just remember, someone always has it worse than you do. Don't build by a farm.

See that's why killing Larry was not a good idea. ...

2009-11-06T10:56:14.286-06:00

See that's why killing Larry was not a good idea. Larry's job in life, when he was not scaring the shit out of you (I hope you made it to the bathroom) was dealing with the your fly problem.

No Larry = More Flies = more fly shit

What I can't help with is how much shit Larry produced though?

So you didn't like my coment about "ghost poop"? I...

2009-11-04T18:50:24.104-06:00

So you didn't like my coment about "ghost poop"? I feel rejected... I think I will go cry now

Fruit Flys poop too, as learned last summer after ...

2009-11-04T12:58:30.934-06:00

Fruit Flys poop too, as learned last summer after one of my wonderfull children left a peach p it in a glass. The rim looked like a bloody mary drink. Probably one of the most disgusting things I've ever encountered. Cheers to fly poop experiences.

OK - this was frickin hilarious!!! I knew flies po...

2009-11-03T23:59:15.242-06:00

OK - this was frickin hilarious!!!
I knew flies pooped, in fact, they do every time they land (or so I've been told) I'm SOOOOO sure I have like 5 year old fly poop in my window sills....no doubt about it.
inhaling fly poop all day every day. maybe that's why we are so healthy around here ;-)

Anyway - Love your blog and have a little present for ya over at my

there are just some things it's better not to expl...

2009-11-03T20:22:05.224-06:00

there are just some things it's better not to explore...

Well shit (no pun inteded) now i have to go vacuum...

2009-11-03T10:45:05.824-06:00

Well shit (no pun inteded) now i have to go vacuum all my window sills, thanks for that! it will more than likely bother me all day until i can get home and fix it, i will go check at lunch! filthy flying freaks! go poop somewhere else!

Everything that lives, shits and some that don't s...

2009-11-03T09:10:26.568-06:00

Everything that lives, shits and some that don't still shit! Ghosts poop, where do you think we get those "packing peanuts" from, that's right its GHOST POOP!!!

Ok so maybe it's not acid, but they do spit every ...

2009-11-03T03:24:51.515-06:00

Ok so maybe it's not acid, but they do spit every time they land.
http://www.whyzz.com/do-flies-really-spit-on-everything-they-touch

knucklehead- What, is that not a legit measurment?...

2009-11-03T00:16:02.091-06:00

knucklehead- What, is that not a legit measurment?

Highlight of this post? The term "metric assload"...

2009-11-03T00:01:47.002-06:00

Highlight of this post? The term "metric assload".

Funny shit.

Foxy- I think he's warning people that when they r...

2009-11-02T22:45:55.297-06:00

Foxy- I think he's warning people that when they reach puberty, they shouldn't do the things that "we" do.

I mean, he's an expert on puberty since he's 6 and all.

Look me up next time you are in DFW. We can go to a strip bar. Or perhaps church or something. Fun times!

OH GOOD LORD! I finally got to watch this video a...

2009-11-02T21:59:02.995-06:00

OH GOOD LORD! I finally got to watch this video and it was fucking HILARIOUS. I was laughing out LOUD at your blood curdling screams.

First of all, "What. The. Fuck?" at the end was too freaking much! I about spit my wine out on that one. What in the world was he trying to say? And the comment up there referring to it did nothing to help my understanding.

Jack- ;)

2009-11-02T21:25:09.558-06:00

Jack- ;)

Waltsense- What about showing some hot pointy udde...

2009-11-02T21:24:30.177-06:00

Waltsense- What about showing some hot pointy udders?

Foxy- My job is to educate America on all of the i...

2009-11-02T21:19:47.627-06:00

Foxy- My job is to educate America on all of the important stuff. Fly shit included.

Cagey- Well thank goodness the little turds weren't stuck to the sills. They came right up. Now I'm done thinking about it. Because thinking of fly hershey squirts will really just push me right over the edge, and we're just about out of clorox as it is. So there! ;)

AnnQ- You

Fly Poop....that's some pretty funny stuff! :-)

2009-11-02T20:48:56.398-06:00

Fly Poop....that's some pretty funny stuff! :-)

Y'know... there's actually a children's book out t...

2009-11-02T20:31:58.032-06:00

Y'know... there's actually a children's book out there called "Everybody Poops" (http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Poops-My-Body-Science/dp/0916291456) Clearly your kids don't need that text, but... [grin]

All living things, somewhere during their daily eat/sleep/reproduce impulses, take a moment to squeeze out what they eat once they've pulled the nutrition

And just so you know... you taught me something ne...

2009-11-02T15:51:49.048-06:00

And just so you know... you taught me something new today. I only knew flies to throw up on stuff - or eat, regurgitate and then eat that - not crap on it. So, thanks for that.

God- (sorry I missed your post earlier) I think ev...

2009-11-02T15:48:42.602-06:00

God- (sorry I missed your post earlier) I think every line of work has the standard creepy fucker at work. There are a couple at my job as well.

Lucas- Wait just one damn minute! There are GERMS in my washing machine??? I'm off to run the sanitary cycle with extra bleach.

Sometimes Sophia- Stay tuned tomorrow when I blog about taking a crap. I promise it will be twice

i WILL be checking for fly poop on my sills, thank...

2009-11-02T15:33:05.969-06:00

i WILL be checking for fly poop on my sills, thankyouverymuch.